Recipe: Elephant Stew

As I said in my post about serial/cereal commas, I love puns. My aunt Mary gave me this recipe 35 or so years ago, and though of course I have never actually made it, I’ve always loved it. She was very artistic and funny, and every time I read this, it brings a smile to my face. I remember how much fun we had together, creating puppets out of pizza boxes, making beaded earrings, weaving stories about forest animals, and learning about Mae West’s bust while rowboating on Oregon lakes…

Elephant Stew

1 elephant, medium size
2 rabbits, optional
Brown gravy, lots
Salt and pepper to taste

  1. Cut elephant into bite-size pieces. This will take about two months. Reserve the trunk; you will need something to store the pieces in.
  2. Add enough brown gravy to cover.
  3. Add salt and pepper.
  4. Cook over kerosene fire for about four weeks at 465° F.
  5. Serves 3,800. If more are expected, two rabbits may be added, but do this only as necessary, as most people do not like to find hare in their stew.

Actually, I might try a version of this someday, with hare as the main ingredient, and skipping the pachyderm.

Bon appétit!

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